Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!

Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?
A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.

How do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head.

Why don't men often show their true feelings?
Because they don't have any. 1

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested

News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message.

My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too...