Very funny Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant.

Q: Why don't men often show their true feelings?
A: Because they don't have any. 1

Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
A: What Men Know About Women.

Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering.

Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.

I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come back for a day and a half.

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."